Five's a Crowd
by Denyce
Summary: Dr. Beckett has to deal with unwanted company while finishing Lorne’s medical examine. Slash, established threesome LorneSheppardMcKay Slight spoilers for S3 episode 'No Man's Land'


"Now try and relax," Beckett advised before he turned his attention to the visible swelling around Lorne's neck. Clearly the imprint of the Queen's hand distinct with fingerprints from when she grabbed Lorne. Picking up the Ancient scanner with one hand, Carson checked for any broken bones or torn ligaments. With his other hand as gently as possible he touched and traced over each abrasion that was decorated over his shoulders. Squeezing and pressing only when necessary, brushing his fingertips down along toward a larger purplish bruise that adorned the major's back. Returning to re-examine the main injury, his fingers moved efficiently under Lorne's jaw and with a small gentle tug Carson urged him to move his neck, first to the right and then to the left.

Reflexively Lorne winced at the slight pressure.

Fingers snapped then pointed as Rodney voiced his apprehension, "That hurts? Carson you're hurting him. Can't you just do that with a scanner or something?"

"Rodney, he knows what he's doing just… let him do his job." Sheppard jutted his chin out, his eyes never leaving Carson's hands as they continued their examination of his SiC.

"I suppose asking either of you to leave would be out of the question?" Carson cast a glance at the two men who hovered over his patient.

"What so you can perform some other kind of unapproved FDA experimental hocus pocus on him? Anyways, it's not like he's critically hurt, or bleeding internally…" Rodney's voice suddenly lowered. "He's not right?"

Quietly Carson paused before looking up, and saw the vivid concern etched on both men's faces.

"Doc," Lorne drawled. It wasn't a question, but more of a warning not to tease them.

Slightly perturbed that Lorne would question his professionalism, Carson straightened before conceding to Lorne's reprimand and answered, "What? Confidentiality withstanding, as your doctor…"

Carson didn't finish when he heard a sharp in-take of breath. Turning, he watched Rodney's eyes widen further in alarm, his face draining of color, and belatedly realized Rodney's hypochondriac mind was starting to spiral out of control rapidly applying various diagnostic theories. Back peddling, Carson stammered, "I mean no… that is…**_bloody hell_**! Rodney he's fine. Only a few bruises, very minimal damage considering."

At Rodney's slow nod and dazed look, Carson could only imagine he was reliving Lorne's assault in vivid detail. Flustered, Carson looked away, feeling the searing heat of guilt for promoting an all too fresh of a memory. He reminded himself it was friendly banter that over the years had become a habit. Their repartee had become a way to comfort each other. Not to mention a delightful challenge with hopes to best Rodney whose quick-witted mind was usually one to a dozen steps ahead of everyone else. This time he conceded that maybe his light teasing was a bit too soon.

He wasn't there when it happened, but he recalled when they all arrived only a few short hours ago. Rodney going on about the effects of the retrovirus, how it didn't work on the Queen and that Lorne had almost paid for his slip up. He knew Rodney was talking about himself, but it didn't change the fact that anything about the retrovirus was **_his _**responsibility.

Lorne had watched their exchange and knew that where Rodney was concerned, he had his work cut out for him. Just in trying to get Rodney to forget or at the very least replace the memory with something more life affirming. A quick glance at John only cemented his thoughts. Anxious to get started he suddenly nudged Carson asking, "So Doc, I'm free to go?"

Distracted Carson looked at Lorne "Hmmm?"

"I believe the Major wanted to know if he could go?" Sheppard quietly reiterated.

"Oh yes, yes. You can put your shirt back on. Though if you have any problems I do expect to see you back here…understood?"

Reaching for his tee shirt, Lorne only nodded before quickly pulling it over his head to cover his bruises and cheerfully added, "Sure thing, Doc." Carson smiled.

Pleased John smiled and lazily rocked on his toes, "Hear that Rodney? He's just fine."

"What? Really?" It only took Rodney a half a second to recall everything he had heard, nodding himself. "Yes, yes I'll…. we'll be sure he checks back with you." Seeing that Lorne was dressed he added, "Now can we get out of here?"

"Please do." Carson sighed his relief that they could all finally leave his infirmary.

An abrupt, "Ahrmmmm" drew his attention and noticed a passel of nervous looks pass between the soldiers. Lorne nodded, sideling closer until they were a hair's breadth away, nervously clearing his throat to ask in a low whispered voice, "Ah Doc… that is that thing we talked about…before…"

At Carson's blatant bafflement, Lorne blushed, starting to lose hope that Carson would have remembered, and from Carson's continued confused expression he knew it was a lost cause. Frustrated he only nodded, "Ah, ok, never mind."

A loud grunt resounded in the room, as Ronon suddenly moved walking across the room; up until that moment he had leaned quietly against the wall watching and waiting.

A drawer opened and closed that mirrored Carson as he opened and closed his mouth when he saw what draw Ronon opened. Standing in front of them Ronon handed Lorne a tube of lube then shoved another one into Sheppard's hand.

A heavy silence descended on the room, as Lorne and Sheppard stared the object in their hands.

A resounding clap echoed in the room and Rodney smiled joyously, "Right, got ya, healthy, two days' rest…. I think maybe now would be a good time to go. Colonel, Major?"

Neither moved as they continued to stare at the tubes.

With an exaggerated sigh, Rodney went on, "Oh please, like he didn't know before. Neither of you are **_that _**stealthy…if you'd stop to think maybe you'll realize Ronon not only knew what Lorne was pathetically trying to hint at, but knew exactly where Carson's stash of lube was kept. Now…" Rodney demonstratively waved his hand about as he spoke, "that we've all been given a clean bill of health I'd like to get the hell out of here. Seriously, I can think of an infinite number of enjoyable if not sweaty ways we could be spending the next two days off, and none of then include giving these two knuckleheads a show."

An indignant snort followed before Carson added, "I might take that as an insulted if I didn't agree. Now out with ye." His hand gently maneuvered and pushed Lorne toward Sheppard.

Lorne bumped into John, but John didn't move and continued to stare at the tube before looking up and silently questioned Ronon.

Ronon didn't say a word, just stared back and allowed a head tilt and a slight smirk to be his answer.

Satisfied that Ronon still had his six John could only return his smile, silently adding a promise that they'd talk later. Fingers firmly clasped around the tube before automatically shoving it deep into his pants pocket.

"Colonel?" Lorne inquired.

"Huh?" John nodded, "Oh yea let's go, Major…."

Just as they exited the door, Lorne looked back one last time, only to see Ronon hovering behind Carson. Maybe he wasn't as quick as Rodney about some things, but he was pretty certain he wasn't imagining the big guy's protective stance. Smiling, he only added, "Thanks again Doc." Before the door closed behind him.

With his eyes closed Carson nodded then asked, "Are they gone yet?"

A soft chuckle resounded, "Yeah."

"Good….." Carson huffed then leaned back and relaxed into Ronon's embrace before tilting up to capture his lips in a kiss.

FiN


End file.
